Describe It - Camp Experiences
Learning Objectives:
Level 3
- Select, form, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
- Use language features appropriately, showing a developing understanding of their effects.
- Organise texts, using a range of appropriate structures.
- Show a developing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.
Level 4.
- Select, develop, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
- Use a range of language features appropriately, showing an increasing understanding of their effects.
- Organise texts. Using a range of appropriate structures.
- Show an increasing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.
Learning goals:
- To ‘Show, Don’t Tell’ the reader by painting a picture with words.
- A variety of sentence starters
- A variety of sentence lengths
- Edit and rework
- Effective peer checking and feedback
The Giant Swing
As I got put into the harness, I could feel my heart skip a beat. Twice. "Okay, are you ready Danielle?" "Yeah, I guess. "I could hear people behind me, cheering me on and talking to their peers. I could see the ground getting further and further away. "Are you ready, Danielle?" "Yes!" "3,2,1..." I could feel my adrenaline kick in so quickly. I could sense a pit in my stomach. After a while, I started slowing down. I could taste my saliva coming back into my mouth. I could smell the air coming back to my face. I wonder if I could go again? Can I?
Student Reflection:
In my writing, one of my goals is: To use complex sentences.
I did/did not show this goal here because.. My complex sentence: As I got put into the harness, I could feel my heart skip a beat. Twice.
In my writing, one of my goals is to: To use interesting or technical vocabulary.
I did/did not show this goal here because.. I did not use technical vocabulary because I did not use expressions.
My next step is: To use more punctuation and use more vocab words.
Teacher Comment:
Danielle, I like the way that you have asked lots of questions to make the reader feel nervous. You have used show not tell in your descriptive writing by using the five senses and creating a clear picture. Your next step is to add more vocab such as adjectives to add effect. Miss Hurley |
